WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Let’s face it, Kurt is hurt and this will be his last match before surgery, I don’t care what he says to try to swerve us. I’m sure, however, he will pull out one last good match before that time. Kurt is a true champion. Here’s waiting for your return around next years Wrestlemania.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Triple H vs. Booker T

We go from a true champion to one whose ego is so big he claims it as a dependant on April 15th. HHH has made everyone his bitch on the RAW roster and he will not stop now. Plus, with Goldberg coming in, the big will be Bill vs. HHH. Goldberg will fail just like that other guy, I think his name was Steiner or something.

WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Team Angle vs. Rhyno/Chris Benoit vs. Los Guerreros

I feel guilty for sitting here making picks while are boys are over in Iraq fighting so I will just pick Rhyno/Benoit.

WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Chief Morley & Lance Storm vs. Kane & RVD

If they wanted Kane & RVD to have the belts, they would have had the titles vacated once Regal couldn’t defend them and had both team fight for the up for grabs belts at Mania. Look for Morley & Storm and for Kane and RVD to finally break up if they remember that storyline. Hopefully Kane will finally remove his mask to reveal that he was actually Pete Rose all along.

WWE WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP
Victoria vs. Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

I’m always a sucker for a pretty face so I going with the beautiful Jazz for the win.

WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

I pick Version 1 to beat La Versión Uno

The Undertaker and Nathan Jones vs. The Big Show and A-Train

This match is going to suck as much as Jeff Hardy after one beer. I do, however, want to thank Vince McMahon for putting all of the suckiest wrestlers into one match.

I think the Big Show and A-Train should officially call their tag team the Big A because they both have big, fat asses. Look for Taker and Jones to win because I don’t see Takers first Wrestlemania loss happening to the Big A.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

I predict that Bret Hart is coming back soon so the WWE can finally blow the last possible big angle out there before officially pissing off every hardcore wrestling fan. Therefore, Shawn Michaels needs a big win. Plus, we all know there is no way Jericho can beat both Shawn Michaels and his secret mystery partner Jesus. Actually that is Jesus from the Los Boriquas, not the son of God.

Vince McMahon vs. Hulk Hogan

This match should be funny. It’s like two old grandfathers fighting over who banged the most prostitutes in WW2. I wonder who will break a hip first in this match. I’ve heard rumors that the special guest referee is going to be the Grim Reaper but I haven’t been able to confirm that. Although Vince would love to get a win over Hogan, backstage it would look like his ego is running wild. Therefore, look for Thunder Lips to pull out the win and the Ben Gay.

The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
I guess The Rock will not be as easy of an opponent as Debra was. It’s a good thing Stone Cold took all that time off to rework his character (sarcasm). Seriously, Stone Cold has been as boring as sex with a paraplegic because he is doing the same old tired act while The Rock has reinvented himself yet again. Look for Rock to win.

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