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Let’s take a moment of silence for the King
of the Ring which is now being replaced by Bad Blood. The King of the Ring
has always been one of my favorite events as it allowed God to give his
gift to mankind, King Mabel. Bad Blood, on the other hand, sounds more like
what would cause you to get HIV during a transfusion. Let’s get on with the
pics…
WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Hell In A Cell
Special Referee: Mick Foley
Triple H (c) vs. Kevin Nash
Kevin Nash should join Triple H’s group
because he really is as slow as evolution. Look for Triple H to win since
even a blind man doesn’t want to see Kevin Nash as champion (even if it
meant getting his sight back).
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Christian (c) vs. Booker T
Christian is just starting go get over so I
hope they do not pull the rug out from under him. He needs the belt and
should have a long Honky Tonk Man style reign where everyone will keep
watching to see him lose. Also, the robot dance on RAW was classic. Look
for Born Again Christian to win.
Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho
I would have liked to see more of a buildup
for this match with a lot more footage of their confrontation in WCW.
Although I would love to see Y2J beat his ass, the main event for
SummerSlam is Goldberg vs. Triple H so look for Goldberg to win.
Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair
This should be a great match which should be
the main event. I would have kept Flair face while turning Shawn Michaels
heel but what do I know? Look for HBK to win.
Redneck Triathlon
Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff
1st Event - Pootang Pie Eating Contest
2nd Event - Bichoff
3rd Event – Austin
Ha ha ha, they are going to eat poontang pie
on a PPV! I for one will not be buying a bottle of Jergens because I know
the WWE never delivers sex. Who wants to bet me 40 bucks Austin will have
some hot girl come out for the pie eating but Bischoff will have Mae Young
causing him to forfeit the round? Look for Austin to win.
WWE World Tag Team Championship
Rob Van Dam and Kane (c) vs. La Resistance
I cared about RVD and Kane 6 months ago and I
cared about La Resistance never. A French tag team is not believable
without a monocle. Look for RVD and Kane to win.
WWE Women's Championship
Jazz (c) vs. Trish Stratus
Look for Jazz to win with the help of Jackie
and Linda to form the new Pretty Mean Sisters.
Scott Steiner vs. Test
Winner Gets Stacy Keibler as a Manager
Hmmm, something smells funny in this match
and it’s not Stacy. Oh wait; it is Stacy because I see her turning on Scott
Steiner to help Test win. This will allow Steiner to bring back Midajah for
some good mixed tag-team matches. With my luck, however, they will bring
back Rick Steiner instead.
The Dudley Boyz vs. Rodney Mack and Chris Nowinski
You figure they would find someone darker
than Rodney Mack to fight all the white boys. What’s wrong, was Michael
Jackson not available? Look for the Dudley's to win causing nothing to
happen.
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