1. Bathroom attendants – I’m sorry but I can put soap on my own hands, thank you very much. If they want to provide a worthwhile service they should do something that people don’t like to do like wiping their ass for them.
2. Old political bumper stickers on cars – No point on having a loser on your car, its time to take off that damn Dukakis ‘88 sticker.
3. People who don’t know how to open their car door without hitting yours
4. Adults who haven’t yet bought a cell phone – come on, it’s 2003.
5. Kids who have cell phones – spoiled bastards.
6. Randy Jackson from American Idol – You are not hip… you are fat and in your 40’s. Stop calling people “Dog” and “man” and saying “you did your thing, dog”.
7. Jar Jar Binks - There was no excuse for this Star Wars character. I owe George Lucus one punch to the stomach.
8. Books – They were good in the 17th and 18th century but they have run their course. That is like me buy an 8 Track cassette. Instead of a book buy a DVD or watch TV.
9. Full Screen DVD’s – lets just all agree that widescreen is better and move on.
10. The Homeless – you’re not fooling anyone, go home.
11. Yo-Boys – should we be scared of these gangsta wannabe white boys from the suburbs? My wish is for all of them to go to jail and get raped by a real gansta!
12. Julia Roberts – pretty woman my ass!
13. When they add in 15% gratuity for a buffet – so I have to get up and get my own food and still give you 15%? Eat shit.
14. When you eat as a group at a restaurant and they don’t separate your check and then you have to figure out how much each of you owe. Someone will always screw you with their portion.
15. Graduations where the valedictorian tells that class that they are the future and anything is possible. They should say “Graduates, you will get fat and will marry a spouse that will get fat and then you will die”.
16. People who don’t believe in using their blinkers – It won’t cost you a cent to use them, I promise.
17. Cops who do radar during rush hour and create even more of a backup
18. Girls who cut off all the beautiful long hair because other jealous girls tell them it will look so good.
19. Overpriced movie tickets - $8.75 for “From Justin to Kelly” is just too much.
20. Commercials that movie theaters are now showing before the coming attractions
21. Websites that look like shit – you don’t see me trying to build my own house, don’t try to build a website if you don’t know how.
22. SPAM – Stop asking me if I want to add 3” or spy on my neighbor, the answer is yes.
23. Old people who hate today’s music
24. Today’s music
25. Girls who wear those fake-out skirt-shorts combo
26. People who point out a zit on your face – I already know I have a zit because I can feel my heartbeat in it. I don’t need you to point it out.
27. Bouncers who think they are God – you make $8 an hour, get over yourself.
28. Ugly girls at Hooters
29. Getting stuck at the table with the ugly girl at Hooters
30. Stupid people who forward you those chain letter emails saying Bill Gates will send you money for forwarding the email to all your friends
31. J-Lo – Stop telling us that you are “real” and just “Jenny from the Block”. You have millions of dollars and date and marry celebrities. The only thing real about you is the fact that your fat ass will need its own trailer in a couple of years.
32. When rated R movies don’t show any breasts but always shows some guys naked ass.
33. Having to touch the dirty door knob of a bathroom after you just washed your hands.
34. Guys in the gym locker room who want to talk to you before they put their clothes on. Yes, the Orioles do suck this season but please put on some pants.
35. Rooky
36. Girls who still don’t wear thongs
37. Having a headache and not being able to masturbate
38. Bachelorette parties at nightclubs – I don’t want to give you my boxers or get one suck for a buck. Also, why are they always fat skanks that are getting married? I figure if I wait until I’m 70 to get married the only single girls left will be hot.
39. How a shirt never looks as good after you wash it for the first time.
40. People who deny watching TV – You have 10 TV’s in your house but never watch any?

If feel a little better now but I still hate you.

Email King Chachi