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Pack my bags, I’m heading out west. I need to
get to California in time for the big election. Since I’m the King of the
80’s, I need to live in the state that has the possibility of having either
80’s icons Arnold Schwarzenegger or Gary “Arnold Jackson” Coleman as
governor. Schwarzenegger starred in such 80’s classics as Conan, Terminator
and Predator. Gary Coleman was the star of Diff’rent Strokes, the Gary
Coleman Show cartoon and that’s about it. Just imagine how great will that
debate be?
Schwarzenegger: Coh-li-for-na needs to be tougher on crime. We need to
be tougher on criminals or it’s hasta la vista, baby.
Gary Coleman: What choo talkin’ bout Schwarzenegger?
My only dream is that somehow these icons end up tying in the election.
They could then both be co-governors. I think it would make a great reality
show/sit-com and what better place than California? I can imagine all of
their crazy fights and mishaps during each episode but at the end they can
sit down with Philip Drummond and get a lesson about life and governing the
state. Hell, Coleman and Schwarzenegger could even sleep in bunk beds in
the governor’s mansion. This would work out great and if any bike store
owners try to molest Gary Coleman again like in that classic episode of
Diff’rent Strokes, Schwarzennegger could simply pump a round of lead into
the molester’s chest. This show will be a winner as long as they don’t
bring in Sam, that annoying little red headed kid with the bowl cut.

Below could be the catchy opening theme song
(to the music of Diff’rent Strokes) to this sure to be #1 hit show:
Now, Los Angeles got pissed with the beat of Rodney King,
What might be right for San Francisco, may not be right for me.
A man is born, he's a Terminator.
Then along comes a midget, but don’t you dare call him Webster.
But they are, Diff'rent Arnolds. It takes,
Diff'rent Arnolds. It takes,
Diff'rent Arnolds to govern California.
Everybody's got a special kind of story
Everybody been in the headlines,
How much money does Gary Coleman got?
not alot,
So what,
At least he doesn’t have to sleep with Schwarzenegger’s wife
And together they’ll govern fine....
Because it takes, Diff'rent Arnolds to govern California.
Yes it does.
It takes, Diff'rent Arnolds to govern California!
Hmmmm…
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