1989 the number another summer (get down)
Sound of the funky drummer
Music hittin' your heart cause I know you got sould
(Brothers and sisters, hey)
Public Enemy – Fight the Power
It's time once again for Summerslam!
It’s hard to believe that summer is coming to an end. This was once one of
my favorite PPV's but this year it seems the buildup has been half assed. I would love to sit around
to discuss my picks but I’m already late for my flight to my summer
time-share at
the Goondocks. Since I don’t have time for my Summerslam picks, I will
allow a different member of my family to pick each match for me. Enjoy and
I'll see you next month.
Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight Title: Triple H vs. Randy
Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Bill
Goldberg.
Chachi’s deaf younger sister, Tiffany:
 (translation:
look for Goldberg to get the win but he won't pin HHH)
Kane vs. Rob Van Dam
Chachi’s stoner older brother, Blunt:
Dude, this is soooo awesome. If Paul Heyman was still writing this shit,
RVD would totally roll up Kane and smoke him. That’s what I would do dude.
Man, I love Taco Bell! That Kane reminds me of the Jolly Green Giant but he
is red and not green. Ha, Ha, he is not greeeeeen, man. Kane will win
because he was in a fire so you know he smokes, dude.
Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff
Chachi’s mother, Mamma Earth: Why are
these nice boys fighting? They must have bad parents. These parents now a
days let their kids get away with murder, I tell ya. If these boys were my
sons, I would back hand them across their mother fuckin’ mouths. They
wouldn’t be fighting and carrying on in my home, no sir. I have a good mind
to call up their mothers. If they don’t get their kids in line, I will go
down and punch their fuckin’ mothers in the mouth. I don’t want these bad
apples influencing my sweet boy. Look for Shane McMahon to win since he
sounds like he could be a good Irish boy if only his mother would do the right
thing and beat his fuckin’ ass once in a while.
World Tag Team Champions La Resistance vs.
The Dudley Boyz
Chachi’s child molesting priest uncle,
Father Sticky: Hmmm, the only wrestling I watch is grade school
wrestling during gym class so I really don’t know anything about the WWE.
The Dudley Boyz sound like very sweet, fit boys but boys never put up much
of a fight so I will pick La Resistance.
WWE Champion Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar
Chachi’s loud talking Aunt, Aunt Mary:
HEY!!! THIS SHOULD BE A GREAT MATCH! TWO GREAT WRESTLERS HAVING A GREAT
OLD-TIME WRESTLING MATCH! BROCK SHOULD WIN WITH HELP FROM MR. MCMAHON!!!!
Undertaker vs. A-Train
Chachi’s younger Yo-Boy brother, T-Pot:
Yo, Yo, Yo, T-Pot in the hizzity house. I’m gitten ready to slam some
skinz with my bitch at her mom's crib. Why you frontin’ with these wrestlin’
questions? I’m thuggin’. I’m a straight up thug! I’ll pop a cap in yo ass
right now!
What? It’s 6:00? I have to drive my
grandmother to the beauty salon and then go to my Boy Scout meeting.
But after that I’ll be knockin’ some boots and drinkin’ some 40’s. Look for
my homey Taker to throw down and win, word!
U.S. Champion Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit
vs. Rhyno vs. Tajiri
Chachi’s Great Grandfather, Pops McCoy:
What the hell do I care, I’m dead. Well, since you got the OUIJA board out,
I’ll say Eddie. Now leave me alone as I burn in hell.
Matt Hardy vs. Zach Gowen
Chachi’s stuttering cousin, Tyler:
Hello, this is tah tah tah tah Tyler. I like wah wah wah wah wrestling. Lah
lah look for Ma Ma Ma Matt tah tah tah to win with a couple of very complex
moves like the Gutwrench Powerbomb, Corkscrew Plancha and the Northern
Lights Suplex. Tha tha thank you.
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